Unemployment: Day Three

Alternative title: Catmageddon

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Something like that

So, yesterday I went over to my mother’s apartment to help spruce some things up a bit (namely, my old bedroom and her desk). Long story short, I now have two cats! I’d post a picture of Tango, but he’s been hiding both behind and under the couch since he got here.

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Except Tango looks nothing like this

Tango is one of the cats I grew up and lived with for 12 years (he is 16 now). He is overweight, depressed, has non-cancerous growths all over his body, and has some breathing problems due to his size (he grunts). He has always fit the scaredy-cat persona due to being abused by the breeder we got him from and has never been an alpha male.

Jynxx, on the other hand, has always been my one and only since I got him when he was four months old. He has stayed over at other places without me in the past that have kitties and I’m told he’s been quite fine (more playful than anything else). Safe to say that is not the case when a stranger is on his turf.

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Good representation of Jynxx at the moment

I’m glad that he can differentiate between the two situations, but unhappy that he can’t tell that Tango is an old, fat wimp and just needs some cuddles.

This morning, however, things got a little bit interesting. I let Jynxx out of my room since he probably had to use his litter box, and we found Tango sleeping on the couch. Jynxx didn’t like that and started right up with the chirping meow he uses whenever he sees a bird out of the window.

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“I WILL eat you”

Tango resumed his behind-the-couch position and after relieving himself, Jynxx decided it was best to get in Tango’s face and corner him. Here is where I assumed a chase of sorts would start — Tango would be non-confrontational and shy away from Jynxx’s advances while Jynxx demanded he assert some sort of cat manliness to see who’s boss.

Yeah, didn’t happen.

Maybe Tango is sick of being kicked around by an alpha male his whole life, maybe he’s getting a thrill over asserting dominance, maybe he’s even just trying to clear his throat. Whatever the case, Tango is one mean mother fucker when it comes to hissing and growling. It is safe to say I am going to have nightmares tonight after hearing the sounds this cat is making (and it’s only 10am). The hisses and growls Tango is making is causing my alpha male to actually back away, which is confusing Jynxx more than it’s confusing me.

Click through for more action as it happens…meow.

10:20am – Tango at this point has actually come out from the back of the couch and the corner he has been in for the past half hour. Jynxx is now in front of the couch while Tango moves forward. 

10:23am – Tango is back in the corner and Jynxx is on the couch plotting an aerial attack. I’m worried about my lamp that’s in the middle of them.

10:35am – Tango makes a dash to the bedroom (from behind the couch and across the whole living room). Jynxx is surprised at this game play and quickly follows.

10:37am – Tango is in the bathroom, Jynxx seems repulsed and refuses to follow him yet is standing guard. 

10:42am – I got distracted with the internet, checked back in on them and now Tango is on my bed and Jynxx is on my headboard. They both give me a “WTF IDK” look and I go back to the living room. 

10:45am – I go through my bedroom to get a tissue out of the bathroom and notice Tango is curled up on my bed looking quite comfy and Jynxx is on the floor pacing around the perimeter of my bed not knowing what to do. They both look at me for petting, I oblige as they hiss at each other. Silly fucks.

10:54am – After some more petting and me asking why we can’t all get along, the cats are back in the living room. Kidding, they just ran back into the bedroom.

10:56am – Apparently Tango has never seen any horror movies because he just went under my bed. NEVER go under the bed! You barely fit as it is and you’re basically a sitting duck.

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